From the pretty garsh darn funny department, Ohio State basketball star (and by star, I mean extremely popular Columbus white guy at the end of the bench that is lucky to play) Mark Titus decided to enter the NBA Draft. Only problem, David Stern wasn't havin' it.Stern didn't want Titus' entry to make the Draft look like a mockery. I'm assuming he doesn't want every college kid sitting at the end of a bench wanting to enter. Because having too many college kids enter the draft would be overwhelming! .. Back to that later....
After calling Ohio State once, then contacting Titus again to tell him he better remove his name...'or else,' Titus finally decided to close up shop. Rivals reports on Titus: "The NBA had called back and this time they demanded I pull my name out “or else.” I assume the “or else” meant they were going to make me do an NBA Catalog commercial like Larry Bird did in 1987. Despite the fact that I would have loved nothing more than to do a similar commercial, I realized that maybe the NBA isn’t an organization to be messed with and I pulled my name out."
And my favorite: "Because of this, I’m not really all that upset about them treating me differently. In fact, I’m somewhat excited. I could very well be the first person in the history of the NBA to basically be told to go away."
So what's funnier? Mark has his own blog, a very successful one I might add, fitly titled: Club Trillion: Life Views From The End Of The Bench.
Although he's a pesky Buckeye, needless to say, I like this kid. If you ever want to come play some pickup in Burbank let me know. We won't tell ya to 'go away.'
Oh, and Stern. Just let the kid join in on the fun. What is there to lose?... Oh sorry, more publicity I guess. That would be just horrible for the NBA.
1985: Sports Illustrated published a story about a new rookie pitcher who planned to play for the Mets. His name was Sidd Finch, and he could reportedly throw a baseball at 168 mph with pinpoint accuracy. This was 65 mph faster than the previous record. Surprisingly, Sidd Finch had never even played the game before. Instead, he had mastered the "art of the pitch" in a Tibetan monastery under the guidance of the "great poet-saint Lama Milaraspa." Mets fans celebrated their teams' amazing luck at having found such a gifted player, and Sports Illustrated was flooded with requests for more information. In reality this legendary player only existed in the imagination of the author of the article, George Plimpton.
1996: The Taco Bell Corporation announced it had bought the Liberty Bell and was renaming it the Taco Liberty Bell. Hundreds of outraged citizens called the National Historic Park in Philadelphia where the bell was housed to express their anger. Their nerves were only calmed when Taco Bell revealed, a few hours later, that it was all a practical joke. The best line of the day came when White House press secretary Mike McCurry was asked about the sale. Thinking on his feet, he responded that the Lincoln Memorial had also been sold. It would now be known, he said, as the Ford Lincoln Mercury Memorial.
1992: National Public Radio's Talk of the Nation program announced that Richard Nixon, in a surprise move, was running for President again. His new campaign slogan was, "I didn't do anything wrong, and I won't do it again." Accompanying this announcement were audio clips of Nixon delivering his candidacy speech. Listeners responded viscerally to the announcement, flooding the show with calls expressing shock and outrage. Only during the second half of the show did the host John Hockenberry reveal that the announcement was a practical joke. Nixon's voice was impersonated by comedian Rich Little.
1998: Burger King published a full page advertisement in USA Today announcing the introduction of a new item to their menu: a "Left-Handed Whopper" specially designed for the 32 million left-handed Americans. According to the advertisement, the new whopper included the same ingredients as the original Whopper (lettuce, tomato, hamburger patty, etc.), but all the condiments were rotated 180 degrees for the benefit of their left-handed customers. The following day Burger King issued a follow-up release revealing that although the Left-Handed Whopper was a hoax, thousands of customers had gone into restaurants to request the new sandwich. Simultaneously, according to the press release, "many others requested their own 'right handed' version."
