Monday, June 29, 2009

Michael Jackson. Pop Genius.

My tribute.

Rest in peace Michael. You will be missed. Your legacy will live on. Here's to the King of Pop, who is now MoonWalking with the 'big guy' in the sky.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Basketball Trick Shot Mastery

Some think this is all just tricky editing. I think it's real. You decide.

This deserves a Sure To Blow Your Mind.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Craziest Baseball Swing

It must be 'trick' day here at The Helmuth Fix. Here's another fancy shmancy doo-dad from a minor leaguer.

8th-Grader Sinks Forward Flip Basketball Shot

Now this is talent!

Friday, June 19, 2009

Italian Soccer Shorts Fail

So a little embarrassing, when you're playing in front of a stadium full of people. Hey, we all know it coulda been worse!
I'm just wondering who is shooting camera for this game. Quite the tight shot, considering it's just on the rear.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Sports Trivia + Roller Coasters = Awesome

How do you think you would do?

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Who Holds The Biggest Rivalry In Baseball?

As we head in to inter-league play this time of year, I always think about those crazy rivalries that we normally wouldn't see in Major League Baseball. Yankees/Mets, Cardinals/Royals, A's/Giants, Dodgers/Angels, and my favorite: White Sox/Cubs. But overall, who has the best rivalry in the country?

We're all too familiar with the Red Sox/Yankees rivalry. The teams have hated each other to cataclysmic proportions. Well, that, and not to mention ESPN airs EVERY matchup. Kinda ridiculous, considering there are... how many other teams out there?! But hey, I guess you have to air whatever people want to watch. Any who, the amount of altercations between the two teams is insurmountable.
You also can't forget about that curse. You know. The one that involves that 'Great Bambino' guy. Man, I bet the 'Sox wish they could have that one back. No matter where the teams are in the standings though, you can rest assure that each series means a ton to these fans. And I believe the Sox are undefeated against the Bronx Bombers so far this year. Ouch.

I never even knew how big the rivalry was until I moved to Los Angeles, but Giants and Dodgers fans HATE each other. There is no easy way to put it. And it goes all the way back to the days when the teams were in Brooklyn and New York. Ya....THAT far. In fact, it is historically the longest standing rivalry in baseball. The two teams first met May 19, 1883.

The Giants are #1 in all-time wins, while the Dodgers are #3 in all-time wins (1,063 and 1,046). And take a look at the list of guys that worked for both teams:
Not sure if you've heard of those guys. But kinddddddd of a big deal. Big names playing for both teams always infuses an already huge rivalry.
And of course we can't forget players like Barry Bonds and NOW Manny Ramirez who have changed the landscape over the past decade for California baseball. Head to Dodger Stadium or AT&T Park and you're sure to hear woe's regarding each of these guys.

And finally, last but certainly not least, the last two rivalries both involve Da' Cubbies. Let's start with the cross town matchup between the White Sox and Cubs. This is why I love inter-league play.

Since both teams have traditionally been horrible, this is a matchup we definitely would never see if left up to the MLB playoff gods. The teams are an even 33-33 (as of today). The north side/south side rivalry is definitely something that Chicago baseball fans are always fighting over. Even though the White Sox defeated the Cubs in the two teams' only World Series matchup in 6 games; way back in 1906.

And speaking of players having altercations to cataclysmic proportions, here is a snippet of what happened in 2006. Definitely still a recent memory to Chicago fans...
"On Saturday, May 20, 2006, the Cubs and White Sox added a new chapter to the intense rivalry: a brawl broke out. In the bottom of the second inning, Brian Anderson of the White Sox hit a sacrifice fly, attempting to score catcher A.J. Pierzynski. A play at the plate then occurred, with Pierzynski colliding with Cub catcher Michael Barrett, knocking him over and jarring the ball loose. After slapping home plate in celebration, Pierzynski began to walk away, but Barrett blocked his path and punched him in the jaw. This set off fighting between the two teams. Barrett drew a 10 game suspension and Anderson got a five game suspension of his own. The fracas took nearly fifteen minutes to resolve and to decide who would get ejected, and who would stay in the game. When play finally resumed, outfielder Scott Podsednik promptly got on base, loading the bases up, and second baseman Tadahito Iguchi cleared them with a grand-slam home run to send the White Sox to an eventual 7–0 win."

But we also can't forget what it's like for the 'I-55' series between those 'loveable losers' in da' Cubs and the St.Louis Cardinals. Read the sign above and it says it all. The Cubs' two most hated teams win back-to-back WS titles in 2006 and 2007. COULD it get any worse for the Cubbies? Oh wait, maybe. It's called having the best record in baseball and choking in the first round of the playoffs! (Sorry, I'm really trying to be non-bias. Cardinal/White Sox fan you're talking to here)

I'm from central Illinois where the whole state is split; half Cubs fans, half Cardinals fans (and a White Sox fan here and there) And let me tell you first hand, there is never enough talk about the two teams. Although rare in recent memory, things get pretty nasty in the area when the Cardinals start losing and the Cubs actually start winning. In his book Three Nights in August, Buzz Bissinger compared this rivalry to another famous pair: "The Red Sox and Yankees is a tabloid-filled soap opera about money and ego and sound bites. But the Cubs and Cardinals are about... geography and territorial rights." [Wikipedia]

Many players have played for both teams, including Hall of Famer Rogers Hornsby, who holds several single season hitting records for both clubs. Notably, Hall of Famer Lou Brock was traded from the Cubs to the Cards early in his career for pitcher Ernie Broglio. This is widely considered one of the most one-sided trades in baseball history. Other Hall of Famers who played/managed with both clubs include Grover Cleveland Alexander, Clark Griffith, Burleigh Grimes, Bruce Sutter, Roger Bresnahan, Dizzy Dean, Dennis Eckersley, Rabbit Maranville, Hoyt Wilhelm, and Leo Durocher. [Wikipedia]

Many also may not realize that the late and great Harry Caray got his start with Jack Buck in St.Louis broadcasting games. We can't forget the home run chase of '98 when Mark McGuire and Sammy Sosa slugged it out for the elusive record of 61 homers. And finally BOTH teams have 9 players in the Hall of Fame.

It's really hard to put into perspective if you haven't witnessed any of these rivalries in person. And each rivalry is different in many ways. You can be sure that my FAVORITE rivalry is between the Cardinals and Cubs. But which is yours?

Who do you consider to have the best rivalry in baseball?

Let me know!

Cooties. Be Sure To Get YOUR Kids Tested

Speak to your kids about cooties...before cooties speaks to them first.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Ken Griffey Jr. Tickle Fights With Ichiro

Yes, you read that right. Ken Griffey Jr. will 'tickle Ichiro until he calls out what one might describe as a safe word.'

Maybe that explains why Ichiro is having yet another great year. No better way to keep a ball player loose right? Nice to also know that Griffey is having fun while his career winds down.

The Tacoma News Tribune reports

" Suzuki spreads a towel on the carpeted floor in front of his locker, lies on his back and begins doing stretching exercises. From Ichiro's blind side, Ken Griffey Jr. pounces, gets his hands deep under Ichiro's armpits and digs in with his fingers.

Ichiro's laughter is almost childlike – genuine and uncontrolled – and after about five seconds he screams the magic word to make Griffey stop.

Junior stands up, walks back to his locker and sits down. Ichiro lies quietly for a moment, letting his body relax, then goes back to stretching as if nothing had happened.


"He's the only teammate I would ever let do that. In Japan, all relationships are respectful, so no one would ever do that to me," Ichiro said. "If someone else did it here, I'd probably punch them in the face."

Kinda makes you wonder what else Griff gets away with. All I know is, is that I hope there is Youtube video of this somewhere!

16 Year Old Baseball Phenom Dropping Out Of High School

Just last week Las Vegas' Bryce Harper was featured in S.I. as 'Baseball's Chosen One.' He's not only about the 30th person to be 'chosen' by S.I. as such, but the kid is also only 16 years old. I also woke up this morning to find that Harper is dropping out of high school. Harper is so good at baseball, that let me repeat, he is dropping out of high school.

Harper's father announced "that Bryce will forgo his final two years of high school and use a GED to enroll in a community college this August."

From the Las Vegas Review-Journal:

"There are going to be critics. I can't worry about what people think," Ron Harper said. "People are going to see what they want to see and say what they want to say. I think this prepares him for life, playing the game of baseball.

"People question your parenting and what you're doing. Honestly, we don't think it's that big a deal. He's not leaving school to go work in a fast-food restaurant. Bryce is a good kid. He's smart, and he's going to get his education."

What also kind of surprises me is that Yahoo's blogger 'Duk' supports the decision, 'for the most part.'
To be honest, I can see why this probably shouldn't be blown up like it is going to be. I know many people, including my father, who have successful careers with a GED. However, almost all of them wished the could have lived through high school life. Sure going to class 8-3 every day STINKS. But you make friends for life, compete in sports, school plays.etc. And even if you don't participate in any school activiites, there are many lessons to be learned within the halls of your high school that will help you throughout your life. Not just playing baseball.

I wish Bryce the best of luck, but he and his parents are definitely rolling the dice on this one. He better be the next Mickey Mantle or somethin'.

[Big League Stew]

Monday, June 15, 2009

11 Guys You NEVER Want To Play Pick-Up Basketball With

And now, in light of the end of yet another NBA basketball season, a Youtube semi-classic. "The 11 Guys."
For those of us who play pick-up ball, you know who these guys are.

Zensational! Phil Jackson Wins One For The 2ND Thumb

Although I've never been a huge fan of Kobe Bryant, I've always loved Phil Jackson. What can I say? I'm a Bulls fan.
So congrats Phil, AND the rest of the Lakers on yet another title.
Some say Phil is just lucky to have had guys like M.J., Scottie, Shaq and Kobe; which is true. But I also say it takes a pretty smart guy to mold talented superstars together in order to create a great 'team.' So Zen 'master,' congrats on being officially the winningest coach in NBA history. Here's an interview with a champagne soaked Phil right after the game which I thought was pretty groovy.

Anyone else think he'll retire after this season? Because I think he still has a few years left. He sounds pretty optimistic at the end of this interview, I can see it!

I also must point out that I DID pick the Magic to win the series. I think it was mostly just wishful thinking, as it has been obvious the Lakers have had the most talent. However, my buddy Wes will continue to give me a hard time about the Lakers taking the series in 5. No worries, I deserve it!

Lakers Fans Gone Wild

You stay classy Lakers fans!

You've only won 15 NBA titles. Only problem is, you don't act like it. I've never appreciated rioting after a big win. There is a way to celebrate and a way not to. It seems L.A. fans have mastered the way 'not to.' Click on the picture to the left to see a small glimpse of what happened in downtown yesterday after the big win. About a half dozen officers were injured, one was taken to the hospital.

Some on Youtube cry out loud that these rioters on merely 'poser' Lakers fans. They just need an excuse to go out and torch cars and loot local retailers. If that's the case, then thank God the Clippers are horrible. I just hope the Dodgers don't win the 2009 World Series! Yikes! Then again, this is why I live in Burbank.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Orlando Needs MAGIC To Stay Alive

Cliche. I know. But it's going to take a lot of magic, borderline miracle for Orlando to win the series now. But hey, if they do win this thing in seven games, i'll look like a genius. Buuuutt we all know that's very doubtful.

When I picked the Magic to win the Finals over the Lakers last week, I kind of assumed that they would be able to knock down their free throws. Especially in clutch situations. Especially if your name is Dwight Howard.

I also assumed that they would be able to secure a double digit lead, in the second half, at home.

I assumed that Stan Van Gundy would coach like he does during the regular season, and not go brain dead when it matters most. i.e, fouling the Lakers when they're up three points with under 10 seconds left in regulation.

And finally, Dwight, you know I love ya. Not to pick on you. But you HAVE to give up the ball when your triple and quadruple teamed down-low. Not doing so only results in 7 turnovers. But I'm sure you do know this.

I'm still pulling for the Magic. That's exactly what it will take though for Orlando to make a come-back in this series. Hopefully they pull a rabbit (or some basketball strategy) out of their hat soon.

Anyone think Dwight and Co. still have shot? Or was Game 4 the biggest choke in NBA Finals history, leading the Magic to a game 5 outing?

Ryan Leaf Headed To The Slammer?

Hopefully this isn't just another sad ending to an already sad, sad story. Ryan Leaf, the former #2 NFL draft pick of the San Diego Chargers, who we all know threw away his career due to multiple issues, will surrender on drug and burglary charges in Texas.

Leaf has been coaching the quarterbacks at West Texas A&M in Canyon, TX. Who knows if the team will be better off without him.

I just hope Leaf finally grows up eventually. I like to think of this as a humor blog, and nothing about this story is funny. However Leaf's rookie blowup in the San Diego locker room still gives me the giggles. I think I had one of these tantrums in gym class in the 5th grade.

Leaf will turn himself into police soon according to his lawyer. Should be interesting to see what happens to him.

[Yahoo Sports]

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Ryan Braun The Next 'Bachelor?'

Yesterday I brought up one of my favorite players making a huge comeback in Scott Podsednik; a proven ladies man. Today I read that Milwaukee slugger Ryan Braun was actually asked to be the next "Bachelor" on the ABC hit show. Really, Ryan Braun?

I'm sorry. But it's Ryan Braun. Major League Baseball All-Star. Prrreeettty sure he doesn't have any problems finding the ladies. Ryan hit 37 home runs last year. And chicks dig the long ball.
[Sutton Says: Braun The Bachelor?]

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Scott Podsednik Is Back!

One of my favorite baseball players of all-time has reemerged into the Chicago Whitesox' starting lineup. A former all-star due to his timely hitting and speed along the basepaths, Scott Podsednik is looking like the same ball player that helped lead the Sox to the 2005 World Series title.

Over the past month, Pods is hitting .319 with 8 swipes and a home run to boot! And although I was little hesitant at first, I think it's for real folks.

Podsednik is lucky to even have a job right now, but he is taking full of advantage of his time in center field while Carlos Quentin is on the DL. The Colorado Rockies let him go April 1st, which left Scott jobless on opening day. Whitesox GM Ken Williams wasn't ready to quite give up on the guy that helped him win a ring in 2005, and it's paying off.

I think Pods is going to continue his streak and will end up with around 30 stolen bases and a .290 average. So if you need someone like that on your fantasy team, pick him up now.

And of course, just like Zack Grienke, it doesn't hurt if you have an incredibly hot wife. I see a common thread here... Gorgeous women and MLB players having complete resurgence with their careers. Hmmmm. Just throwing that out there. Just a hunch, but it may be part of the equation to MLB success. It also seems that I always have the same taste in women as my 'man crushes.' Meet Lisa Dergan Podsednik.... She likes golf.

I also plan on writing more 'Fantasy Sports' type articles. If this is your thing, please let me know. I would love to hear from you.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Transsexual Basketball

Annndd entering the list of things I never knew existed department.. Philippine Transsexual Basketball!

If you're like me you probably can't understand a word of this, but funny as it is, you don't really need to. All I know is that these guys really play like girls....errrr, wait...girls play like.......wait, I'm so confused.

Monday, June 8, 2009

A Suitable Metaphor

This Short pretty much sums up the way I feel about the Lakers going up 2-0 on the Magic.
I'm glad it's baseball season.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

3 Reasons I'm Picking The Magic In The Finals

#1 Dwight Howard

It hurts not having Jameer Nelson (although some say he will play), but it's all about Dwight. If he can stay out of foul trouble, it's going to open up the long range shots that Orlando can knock down on any given night.

#2 Magic Fans

They may be bandwagoners, but they can't be as annoying as Lakers fans. With or without fun dogs.

#3 Floridians have better style!

OK, so maybe that's not quite true. And maybe this picture is from Alabama, but hey 'bama is next to Florida.. so that counts. Anywho, i'd rather see this than that hideous yellow and purple. Unless of course it is a Magic JOHNSON jersey. Then you're cool.

All in all I'm taking the Magic in 7 games. What do YOU got?

And I musn't forget Dwight's new Vitamin Water commercial. I mean c'mon. Dwight is just a lot more comedic than Kobe. More likeable.

*NOTE.* It may look bad that Josh lives in LA and is rooting against the Lakers. It should be noted that at heart Josh is a Bulls fan (originally from Illinois) and only 'kids' when poking fun at Lakers fans and Kobe. But for this series, go Magic!

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Ball Players Can't Handle The STRESS

Does it really take "the juice" for players to get by anymore? I knew that the St.Louis Cardinals (my favorite NL club) made a big mistake in trading for shortstop Khalil Greene last season. Not because of his horrible batting average..... OK, ya that was why. But I guess it was what I didn't know that should have really scared me away.

The Cardinals are finding out that it is Greene's "social anxiety disorder" that gets in the way of his performance on the field. Now I'm not sure about you, but when I think of "social anxiety," I simply think of really timid people that freak out in public arenas. Not professional baseball players.

What's worse is that Greene is the third Major Leaguer to be placed on the DL with such a condition. said it perfectly (quotes from STLToday)...

["Greene's condition causes incessant anxiety based on a fear of failure that feeds his self-consciousness. Unable to channel his emotions, the resulting frustration makes him prone to physical and verbal outbursts in front of teammates." In other words, he plays bad, he can't handle it emotionally, and that makes him play worse. Not to get all Grumpy Old Man on you, but in the old days they called that being "not good" and you got cut.]

But of course Greene may have some serious emotional issues that none of us could even be aware of, including the Cardinals. It may just take some simple counseling and some psycological support for Khalil to snap out of this funk he is in. i.e. Zack Grienke!

I really just hope that teams don't use the "stress" excuse as a way to put players on the DL that may be in a normal, baseball type, slump. i.e. David Ortiz!

Here's another player, Joey Votto who was placed on the DL due to "stress."
Definitey a trend to be watching in professional sports.

If the Cardinals fix Greene like the Royals did Grienke, then watch out. The Cardinals may have their best shortstop since a guy named Ozzie Smith! If they are unable to fix the Khalilmeister (bad nickname?) then, well, I guess he's just another baseball prospect that never panned out.

And if you read this whole article, which is hard to do with people's attention spans these days, CONGRATULATIONS! Here is your reward.