Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Jordan's Son Chooses School


As his father gets accepted into the Basketball Hall-of-Fame, Michael Jordan's son, Marcus, has chosen to accept a scholarship from The University of Central Florida.

Marcus Jordan is coming off a stellar performance in the Illinois state playoffs in which he led his team to a state title. Now it looks like he will play D-I like his brother Jeffrey, who plays for Illinois.

You can't expect these kids to live up to their father's status, but just the fact that they have made it to the D-I level is outstanding. Only 1% of high school ballers even do that. Some have said that Marcus is even better than his older brother Jeffrey and that one or two years at UCF could lead to an eventual transfer to a larger, more historical program. So count him out yet. We might be talking a lot about both Jordans in the NCAA tournament a couple years from now.
[The Dagger]

Monday, April 6, 2009

Grizzly Adams DID Have A Beard


Nazi Germany DID host the Olympics
People really should pay attention in history class.

MLB All-Star Now Coaching High School


Happy 'Opening Day' everyone!

If you're as big of a baseball fan as I am, then today is like a holiday to you as well. In light of the festivities, here is today's baseball story....

How would you like to have been coached by an MLB All-Star in high school? Well that's exactly what has happened at St. Thomas (Texas) High as former Houston Astros second baseman Craig Biggio has taken the helm.

His son, Conor, plays on the team. And as you can see from the pic above, it's not the first time they've been in the dugout together. *In my best Napoleon Dynomite voice* "Luuucckkkkeeyyyy"
[Rivals]

Soccer Player Gets Yellow Card For Farting


I normally don't give two poots about soccer, but this is funny.

During a Sunday league football game in Manchester, England, a referee ordered that another penalty kick be retaken when one of the opposing players tooted as the ball was being kicked.

The Chorlton Villa athlete that broke wind got the yellow card for what was described as "unsporting beharviour."

[BBC News]

Friday, April 3, 2009

What Do You Think About Jay Cutler Bears Fans?

The Bears haven't had a Pro-Bowl quarterback since 1985 in Jim McMahon. Now it looks like the Bears are desperately trying to change that by acquiring Jay Cutler from Denver.

Originally from Illinois, I was shocked to hear this news this morning. The Bears are notorious for having mediocre at best, quarterbacks. Cutler has a great arm, but does he have the intangibles? After this little charade he pulled with Denver, is Cutler the 'T.O.' of quarterbacks?

There are so many questions with this trade. There are about as many opinions with this situation as there are Bears fans. Not to mention all the questions that arise when you 'google image' 'Jay Cutler.' Go ahead and do it....creeeeeeppyy....
Cutler has this big of an ego and he's not even the main result when you 'google image' his name? Pulleeasse.

Good luck Bears fans. That's all I have to say. And I truly mean it! Hey, I hope it works out, but I say there is at best, a 50/50 shot. Which of course is better than it was 24 hours ago!

What do you think Bears fans? Is 2 first rounders, a second round pick and Kyle Orton too much for Cutler?

Bears fans, fill me in!

I will tell you one thing though. I will miss all of the Philip Rivers/Jay Cutler trash talk.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

ASU Women's Basketball Coach Locker Room Poop Talk

For some reason she reminds me of Amy Madigan in "Field Of Dreams." You know, the part where she's with Kevin Costner at the town meeting and she starts on her rampage about how great the 60's were. Only I can't remember if she said something as funny as the word 'poop.'

The only video that is better is when Jim Mora was still coaching in the NFL, referring to his team as playing like 'diddly poo.'

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Top "April Fool's" Pranks Of All-Time


Happy April Fool's day everyone!

In light of this day I would like to share a website that has listed some of the greatest April Fool's pranks of all-time. The only one that is truly missing is the famous prank I pulled on my 7th grade English teacher that involved some lofty presentations that were interrupted with a remote controlled fart machine. Mrs. Singer took the prank pretty well, but I didn't see the fart machine again, which was actually my dad's and came complete with 3 to 4 different gassy sounds. I hate to 'toot' my own horn, but those were the days!

Now on to the list of the all-time greats...



[Excerpts taken from MuseumofHoaxes]


Sidd Finch
Sidd Finch1985: Sports Illustrated published a story about a new rookie pitcher who planned to play for the Mets. His name was Sidd Finch, and he could reportedly throw a baseball at 168 mph with pinpoint accuracy. This was 65 mph faster than the previous record. Surprisingly, Sidd Finch had never even played the game before. Instead, he had mastered the "art of the pitch" in a Tibetan monastery under the guidance of the "great poet-saint Lama Milaraspa." Mets fans celebrated their teams' amazing luck at having found such a gifted player, and Sports Illustrated was flooded with requests for more information. In reality this legendary player only existed in the imagination of the author of the article, George Plimpton.

The Taco Liberty Bell
Taco Liberty Bell1996: The Taco Bell Corporation announced it had bought the Liberty Bell and was renaming it the Taco Liberty Bell. Hundreds of outraged citizens called the National Historic Park in Philadelphia where the bell was housed to express their anger. Their nerves were only calmed when Taco Bell revealed, a few hours later, that it was all a practical joke. The best line of the day came when White House press secretary Mike McCurry was asked about the sale. Thinking on his feet, he responded that the Lincoln Memorial had also been sold. It would now be known, he said, as the Ford Lincoln Mercury Memorial.

Nixon for President 1992: National Public Radio's Talk of the Nation program announced that Richard Nixon, in a surprise move, was running for President again. His new campaign slogan was, "I didn't do anything wrong, and I won't do it again." Accompanying this announcement were audio clips of Nixon delivering his candidacy speech. Listeners responded viscerally to the announcement, flooding the show with calls expressing shock and outrage. Only during the second half of the show did the host John Hockenberry reveal that the announcement was a practical joke. Nixon's voice was impersonated by comedian Rich Little.

The Left-Handed Whopper 1998: Burger King published a full page advertisement in USA Today announcing the introduction of a new item to their menu: a "Left-Handed Whopper" specially designed for the 32 million left-handed Americans. According to the advertisement, the new whopper included the same ingredients as the original Whopper (lettuce, tomato, hamburger patty, etc.), but all the condiments were rotated 180 degrees for the benefit of their left-handed customers. The following day Burger King issued a follow-up release revealing that although the Left-Handed Whopper was a hoax, thousands of customers had gone into restaurants to request the new sandwich. Simultaneously, according to the press release, "many others requested their own 'right handed' version."

For more greats, check out Museum Of Hoaxes